A confession

I am not as dedicated to my friends as many people may have been led to believe. I have on many occasions lied about how much I care about them, and have exaggerated feats I would go to for their protection and love.

One of these you yourself may have heard me say, I am here to admit that it was false.
"Wild horses couldn't keep me away"
That is a complete lie.
Horses scare the fucking shit out of me.
They are gorgeous animals, don't get me wrong, but they have their moments...
And on top of that, wild horses. I can't even cope with domesticated horses. If I had to battle wild horses for you, I'm sorry, but you're SOL. I'm getting the fuck out of there before they trample my ass. Good luck.

 

and really, why are wild horses holding you hostage anyway?